Exploring Infertility: Chemical Pregnancy

This year I’m being more transparent here. Real stories and real life. Everything isn’t always fairies and rainbows. Sometimes it takes experiencing heartache and sharing it to come out on the other side of strength. I’ve talked to you all before about my battles with infertility, when I shared my ectopic pregnancy story. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2013, resulting in the loss of my left tube and me having to get a blood transfusion. It was a very traumatic situation that has taken me years to emotionally heal from. If you haven’t read it, you can read the blog post HERE.

Today I’m talking about chemical pregnancy. What is a chemical pregnancy? It’s a very early miscarriage. It’s when conception occurs, the sperm meets the egg, but when it’s time to implant in the wall of the uterus, something goes wrong and it doesn’t implant. It could be due to chromosomal abnormalities, hormonal imbalance, or simply a poor egg or sperm. Most women go on to pass the pregnancy during the same time as their period, and they never knew they were pregnant at all. I happen to be a person that knows that I’m pregnant. I’ve experienced more chemical pregnancies than I can count. I had 3-4 before I got pregnant with my oldest son who is now 12, and I had 4 before I got pregnant with BabyCake. In fact I was pregnant four months in a row in 2009 before I was successfully pregnant with her.

I am so in tune with my body that 2-3 days after ovulation I know that I’ve gotten pregnant. I feel pulling in my ovaries, and sometimes light cramping and lower back pain. For a woman that doesn’t suffer from infertility, this is an exciting feeling if she experiences this. She anticipates a baby at the end. I’m typically not excited and on pins and needles not knowing whether or not this will be a baby that makes it. When I start bleeding, it’s at the same time as my period, but much heavier and more painful than any normal period. It also comes with the emotional rollercoaster of unstable hormones.

I have been tested in the past for all of the standard infertility tests and everything comes back normal. Through out all of this I’ve been blessed with three beautiful children over the years. I’ve also been very careful to not get pregnant when we aren’t ready because mentally I can’t handle having several more chemical pregnancies. Recently we decided we wanted to try again soon, because we want a large family. I understand some people would say why would you keep trying? Because we have more love to give and we’d like to help populate the earth. Period. 

Why am I sharing my story? Because women don’t talk enough about infertility and miscarriage. Up to 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and no one says a word about it. Women continue to suffer in silence and act like it doesn’t happen to them. When it’s happening to a lot of us, but there aren’t enough women speaking up about it. Everyone doesn’t get pregnant easily, and pregnancy isn’t a situation that’s looked to be avoided by all like society would have us to think. There are many women out there with empty arms & bellies and few answers as to why. Infertility isn’t always about not being able to get pregnant, but also about getting pregnant easily and not being able to stay pregnant. 

If you’ve never heard of the term chemical pregnancy, hopefully I’ve helped to explain what it is. Many Dr.’s disregard them because it hasn’t reached the term of a clinical pregnancy of 6 weeks, but in fact it’s truly a miscarriage. If you’ve experienced a chemical pregnancy, know that you aren’t alone.

Ashley