Mother’s Day is Bittersweet
Every year on the second Sunday in May, people across the US celebrate Mother’s Day. A time to honor mothers for all their hard work throughout the year, and to show gratitude for all their efforts. But it’s a percentage of women who don’t get to enjoy the gifts, flowers, cards or cuddles with their babies….because they can’t have any.
I have three children, whom I’ve been blessed with. I’ve suffered from infertility, as well as secondary infertility, and today I decided to share my personal story.
Over the years, since 2004, I’ve had 10 miscarriages. Three before I got pregnant with my oldest son, three before I got pregnant with my daughter, and four losses in 2013.
I got pregnant in August 2013, and guess what?! My due date was Mother’s Day! I was really happy. Felt like what I thought was a normal pregnancy. My children and I went to visit my in-laws in Philadelphia, something we do several times a year. One day we were at the Please Touch Museum, the kids were having a good time, but I just didn’t feel right. I was in a lot of pain. I could barely walk. But this couldn’t be a normal miscarriage. I had never felt this way before. I just knew I had to have my gallbladder removed! The next day the pain was just unbearable. I woke up at 4am with hot flashes, could barely get out of bed, felt like I was going to pass out. What kind of pregnancy was this, and why was this happening to me??? I decided to take Tylenol and go back to bed. I didn’t want to disturb anyone. I would be alright. But I wasn’t……
Later that afternoon my sister in law took me to the University of Pennsylvania hospital. I sat in the waiting room for four hours….in excruciating pain. What I was told by nurses was that they are calling people back in order of emergency. If I was having a normal miscarriage, it’s nothing they can do to save it anyway. I wasn’t having a normal miscarriage. I had an Ectopic Pregnancy. The baby had been lodged in my tube, and there was no way it would survive. At that point though, my tube had already ruptured, and blood was pooling out into my abdomen. I could have bled to death and died. I had to be rushed into emergency surgery. Me being afraid was an understatement. My husband was back in Atlanta, what if I didn’t make it out of the surgery alive???? I made it out alive, but not without more complications. It came with a 2 day hospital stay, and removal of one of my Fallopian tubes. The possibility of being rushed back to the operating room because I had a Hematoma. Also a blood transfusion because I lost 288cc’s of blood which is a little over an 8oz glass full. The road to recovery was difficult to say the least.
I wanted to share my story, because miscarriage and infertility is something people normally brush under the rug. It’s not discussed, and after someone has a miscarriage a lot of the people around them like to pretend it didn’t happen. Statistics show that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and a lot of times it happens before a woman knows that she is pregnant. It happens to healthy women, and it happens with no reason as to why, most of the time. Let’s start the conversations so that women who have experienced this tragedy don’t have to be alone.