Why I Don’t Suffer from Mom Guilt
Mom Guilt. It’s an ongoing topic with mom’s. You feel bad because you couldn’t give your child something that they wanted. You feel bad because you couldn’t spend a certain amount of time with your children. You feel bad because you want to do something nice for yourself that doesn’t involve your children. I used to suffer from mom guilt. As a new mom, I didn’t buy myself anything new for three years. It wasn’t because I couldn’t afford to. It was because I always spent money on my infant and toddler who were born 18 months apart and they simply became my world. I believe it happens to all new moms. We are so focused on our new bundles of joy, that we forget about ourselves. As they grow older we get into this habit, and stay there. As soon as we want to break out of the habit, we guilt ourselves. I stopped guilting myself years ago.
Self Care is not Selfish
Self care comes in many different forms. On some days it’s a trip to the mall, and on other days it’s an appointment with your therapist. I try to practice self care daily in the form of prayer, meditation, journaling, listening to motivational podcasts, going for a walk, and taking my vitamins and supplements. You all know my mantra “You can’t be good to others if you aren’t good to yourself.” You cannot pour from an empty cup. Our children don’t need every moment of our time. What they do need, is quality, non-distracted moments when we do spend time with them. It’s those moments that matter more than doing as much as you can no matter what as a parent.
Balance is really hard, but achievable. As women we wear so many hats! Every day you’re a mommy, spouse, driver, employee, entrepreneur, friend, chef, and more. We’re doing a juggling act daily. At one time one thing in our lives will be getting more attention than another thing. Sometimes we create burnout because we simply aren’t taking a break or we aren’t delegating certain things in our lives. Delegation makes balance more achievable. I often hear stay at home moms complain about not having a sitter and this is why she can’t take time away from her children. HIRE A SITTER! At some point we have to trust someone other than us with our children to get a much needed break for our sanity. This includes adding a babysitter to your monthly budget. Tired of cleaning so much? HIRE A CLEANING SERVICE! Take some of the pressure off of yourself to make your life easier.
Mom Guilt isn’t healthy for you and it’s not healthy for your children. Society is currently raising a new generation of self entitled children because their parents are giving them their every desire. Don’t be that mom! Pour into yourself with self care so that you can pour love into your children in meaningful ways.